Almost
by Tayyyx3
Summary: Jacob's going through hell trying to get over Bella, experiencing vivid flashbacks of that certain night - the night that decided everything for them.


**So, I decided to go back and read through the Twilight Series for the first time since last year, and I'm proud to say my love for it hasn't changed. So this is a nice little one-shot I'm attempting. Tell me if you like it. I feel somewhat out of character with Bella, but whatever. It picks up after Eclipse, where Jake is coping with Edward winning Bella, and he keeps having these flashbacks. I own nothing, Stephenie Meyer wrote everything in italics. BUT this is from JACOB'S pov. **

**Renesmee hasn't been born, Breaking Dawn hasn't happened. **

I'm Jacob Black. You live, life sucks, and then you die. Well; at least that's how I feel right now. Ever since I found out Bella's getting married, my world, as well as my heart, feels like it's been shattered. I've been having these nightmares, at the most random times. Sometimes during the day, when I'm perfectly content. I guess they're like flashbacks, really vivid ones. That will hit you at the most dangerous times. But then again, that might just be the werewolf in me talking. We have really advanced minds, even if we don't use them for intelligence.

I tried my best to sound confident. _"She's in love with me, too, you know."_

_Edward didn't answer._I sighed. _"But she _doesn't _know it."_

_"I can't tell if you're right._And that time, we kissed. Our first kiss. Our only kiss..

But I'll never forget the time I knew she was gone.

"_Can I tell you what the worst part is? Do you mind? I am going to be good."  
_

When she agreed, I went on.

"_The worst part is knowing what would of been. I'm exactly right for you, Bella. It would have been effortless for us - comfortable, easy as breathing. He's like a drug for you, Bella. I see that you can't live without him now. It's too late. But I would have been healthier for you. Not a drug; I would have been the air, the sun." _

There was my speech. Then there was _hers.._

"_The worst part for me is that I saw the whole thing - our whole life. And I want it bad, Jake. I want it all. I want to stay right here and never move. I want to love you and make you happy. It's like Sam and Emily, Jake - I never had a choice. I always knew nothing would change. Maybe that's why I was fighting against you so hard."_So that was it. She loved me, but not as much as she loved _him. _I felt a piece of my heart break. I told her I'd always be waiting in the wings, until her heart stops beating - but hell, I'd take her back whether she was a dog or a vampire or a ghost. I didn't care if she was a monster. I was in love with her.

Things are different now. I haven't talked to her in a long time. Too long. I got an invitation to her wedding, so I know her life is moving forward atleast. But mine's still in slow motion, like the whole world is spinning, but I'm stuck. It's not a good feeling.

I've been out with the pack a couple of times. But Leah irritates me, and Sam's getting mad because Bella is all I freaking think about, damnit. There I go again.

"Hey, Jake! Bella's here, she wants to see you." The voice belonged to my dad. Wait, Bella was here?

I walked to the front door, my previous anger toward her melting the second I saw her face.

"Hi, Jake. Why haven't you answered my calls? Did you get the invitation?"

"Yeah." I said flatly.

"Well.." I could tell she was struggling to figure out what to say next. "I just thought I would come by, to see how you were doing."

"I'm fine."

"Okay, well then I guess I'll go," she said, she kept her voice normal; but that's Bella for you. I know her, and she was on the verge of tears.

"Wait, Bel?" I asked, and she turned around, waiting.

"I'll call you soon, okay?"

Her face lit up in happiness. "Okay, Jake. Bye. I love you," the last part she whispered, but I knew she meant it. She _did_ love me. But I wasn't enough for her. I sighed. Back to square one.

What did I just get myself into? I can't let myself be around her when I still have these feelings for her. I wasn't going to call, I decided. I'd just go to the damn wedding. My dad would probably make me anyway.

I stood in the doorway and watched her put that old rusty truck in drive. Everyone always begged her to get a new car, but she was stubborn. I offered to fix it up for her; but no. She loved her truck, just the way it was. Once it started, she looked in the rearview mirror, then back at me. Our eyes locked, and for the briefest moment, it almost felt as if we were together. Inseperable, in absolute never ending love.

Almost.

**Alright, I don't know what to make of this. I was just experimenting. I felt kind of out of character. Bleeeh.**


End file.
